gender norms: where does this deep rooted hatred of women stem from?

Dear abusive, cowardly, insecure men,

I’m just here contemplating the ways in which you have fundamentally degraded, disregarded, abused, manipulated, plotted against and misused women throughout the decades of history we have on accounts of how women were not only viewed but were treated. We are not used for the mere reasons of having your children and cooking your daily meals. We are real thinking, living and breathing beings that can provide companionship and a deep level of friendship that goes beyond your demeaning obsession and out of this world concoction of vulgarity in your sex life. 

Sex can be interesting without being degrading and abusive in the process. I think there’s a balance between respect, exploration and perversion. I’m sure there’s room for interpretation from all parties involved. Nevertheless, we have to get to the root of this issue for those who fundamentally have a deep level of hate towards women to regard them in the less than humane accounts in which you adhere to. Is it mother issues, daddy issues or a combination of both with the added pressures of what it means to be a “manly-man” and the toxic behavior that is associated with that ideology? Or is it the constant ways in which objectifying women is normal and the deep rooted belief in many cultures that it is better to have a son than a daughter who can carry the family legacy and name; living up to the exceedingly high expectations that are naturally granted to those of male status which is most coveted?  The perceived need to allow boys to explore and be adventurous juxtaposed against the need to coddle, cradle and protect your “little” girls? 


And for this we forgive men.

Men,

We’re always going to forgive them. We’re always going to make excuses for them. But why? Why aren’t they held up to the level of accountability as women are? Why are they able to get away with what some women perceive to be murder or not? Whether it is actually murder or a level of abuse that could be murderous. The implications that males get a pass and women get slaughtered is counterintuitive in how we actually raise these specific genders from birth. The question remains, where and when did these protective measures of women and boisterous-aggressive responses of men switch? At which stage of life did we say it’s okay for men to behave this way and women with a certain connotation brought on the certain abuse that ensued?

Is it the perceived characteristics that are handed out to each gender that has spewed the conversations of those who’ve been negatively affected by it who challenge the ways we approach and adhere to gender “normal” proclivities? I agree that specific “characteristics” or “qualifications” in how we view a specific gender has been detrimental to those who must have a definitive answer on how each gender is supposed to behave. And therefore, justifying tools used to insist that genders behave in that manner. There are variations and spectrums to gender normality. However, who can say that one way of behaving is “better” and more boy-like or girl-like than the other? The question resides on the table. 

What I do want to focus on is the perceived and or real disgust and lack of respect for women for a majority of our men. Where does this inward hatred towards women really stem from and how can we fix it? It is an understanding and commitment I’m deeply entrenched with after being bombarded by the pure hate that has recently been revealed to me in this life’s journey. I’m committed to see it through and unpack where we are, how we got here and what we are going to do from here. 

Stay tuned for my new project book: Evey have NOt seen...