Pimpin' Ain't Easy

If I, as a female, feel pretty good about myself being called a pimp, I KNOW that men’s ego must be significantly stroked when they are being called that as well. The idea of a pimp means you’re in control. No one’s making you do anything. You’re the one demanding things and in charge of your sexuality. No one has the right to command you to do anything as you’re the boss, you’re the head honcho. You’re the one receiving the respect as people scramble to gather themselves under your presence. When you have not been privy to this type of authority prior to you being called or labeled as a pimp, it gives you some reassurance that you’re being seen as strong and not weak, someone to be respected and not to be played with. Someone who understands what they’re doing and isn’t shy or ashamed of that placement. Confident, assured, solid. 

It’s no wonder why this behavior is usually brought about when you’ve been in predicaments where you felt out of control. When you feel like you’ve given your trust over to someone and it has been played with, abused, manipulated and walked all over. The natural human response would be to command that control back by any means necessary or wallow in your sorrow until you regain your strength back hoping to trust another. I did not choose the latter. Usually people do not. Anyone who has experienced some sort of abuse, whether sexual, verbal or emotional has found a defense mechanism in which to cope. 

As a society, we know why men do it as they’re celebrated for getting as many women as possible, soiling their royal oats as much as possible until they’re ready to “settle down” if they’re ever ready. But it’s not too acceptable for women to do the same. And why not? Why is that? Why are we still expecting women to be “pure” and chaste and men to not? Why is the sting of being labeled as a whore placed on women more than it is on men who are considered an “f” boy? Will it ever end?

Unrealistic expectations place messy results on relationships that could have otherwise been successful if fairness would have been placed on the table from the beginning. When everyone knows what is expected of them and agrees, you’re more apt to seeing success and healthy progress in whatever relationships that are formed in the process. 

I didn’t know that this boy liked me. He was sending me mixed messages by saying one thing on aim and behaving differently when he was with his friends. Does he even know how to be in a relationship or is he being manipulated by the pressure of hanging out with his friends and what that entails as the expectations he’s supposed to accept and meet as a young teenage boy? Who told him that this is how he should be and is it completely accurate information? Is it working for him or is he pretending? What is it all for and is it serving us as a society?

More to come on Stephanie's new project book Eyes Have NOt seen...